You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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