This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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