so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
