come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
