Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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