I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
