I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
