im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
