I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
