OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
