I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
