Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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