Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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