White coat. Heels.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
