He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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