I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
