Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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