Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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