I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Non-Jews are for practice
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Panties = found
Randomize
