You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
