i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
