I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sober January is a disaster.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
