I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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