ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
