I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
