The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
