i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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