Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
