I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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