I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
