fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
