She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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