I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Your dad touched me again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
