and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
