There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
