I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
