I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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