Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
