The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
