but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
