So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I fill condoms, not promises.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize