This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
