her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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