Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
