And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
