I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
