I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
