I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
