i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
