$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
