after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
