Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
