You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
