I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
