Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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