So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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