okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
