i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
