Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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