Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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